The Insomnia Chronicles

REAL prayer.

Humility is the way for us to open communication with the merciful God of heaven. It is far better to pray in a private "room" - be unseen by others - and have the approval of God; than to give a public display of prayer and have a heart full of pride.

...HE KNOWS, so be REAL.

Rooftop Reflections

Last night my Tuesday night discipleship group (X-factor) met me at my 'secret study spot' - Steve's downtown condo - for a cool time in God's Word followed by an amazing time of prayer - ON THE ROOF - for Detroit, Hamtramck and beyond!  Steve has been in Vietnam for the last month and has welcomed me to use his home for personal study & renewal, as well as, prayer meetings, Bible studies, etc.  - it has become one of my favorite places to dwell.  God's presence always seems unique there...

So, around 20 of us prayed for over an hour with only the lights of the city skyscrapers to illuminate the air. What an awesome time.  Many received unique words from the Lord or renewed callings, burdens & visions. There's something so powerful about praying at the top of your lungs over a million people! Wow! This rooftop has become my mountaintop - a place I go for new perspective, powerful prayer time, closeness to God, and refined vision.  It's also a place of refreshment & renewal.  I'm grateful.

God is giving us the city & communities of Detroit! His word is ringin' in my head, "Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper" Jeremiah 29:7.

Whoa, that verse (and passage) simply rocks!  So powerful for a church-planting, pioneer like me (and you?)...

• Have you found your "mountain-top" where you live?
  • Please, tell me/us about it...
• How often do you get away (by yourself): to pray, dream, refresh?
• Any testimonies from this? ... or challenges?

                Thanks for reading my blog and contributing to my life, chilly

most deaf 2 ...

I've got a plan in place to find "silence"... 

in about 2 hours, I will be disappearing.  Gone...   POOF - outta here! 

One of the guys in my life is an emmy award winning videographer (stephen) - such an amazing & humble guy. Well, he's on a 4-5 week video shoot in Vietnam right now.  And, he left me the keys to his downtown condo - which overlooks Detroit river & downtown skyline (... Windsor, Canada too...).  He was so excited at the thought of me "retreating" in his crib while he was away.  So cool.  Yeah, so with Bible, Journal, a few pens and some sweats, I'm disappearing.  I'll reemerge on Friday for my son's (maximus aslan) birthday!

Can't wait to hear nothing.   

And then, eventually, begin to hear His still small voice.

I'll wait for this.  I want to wait. 

Today, I read a few words from my friend Soren Kierkegaard... I liked what he said, God loves silence.  Silence in relation to God is strengthening. Absolute silence is like a lever, or like the point outside the world which Archimedes talks about.  To talk lightly about God therefore, is a depletion that weakens.  God hates it when we gossip with others about our relationship with Him. To do so is sheer vanity, or else it is cowardice and lack of faith, because one does not really rely upon Him.

I might blog...  or just scribble in my moleskine off-line.  not sure.

bye.

p.s. I'm here (no where) - it's brilliant.  I just came down from the rooftop - through the darkness rises our city skyline, the ambassador bridge, canada and beyond.  I immediately got chocked up, why? I'm not even sure.  there's destiny here - awaiting my brokenness, submission and silence.  I felt like Daniel (chapter 6) determined to seek God, Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. - a lot of time will be spent on the rooftop. the wheels of vision have already begun...

most deaf...?

I, normally, don't mind noise, craziness, or even chaos - I seem to thrive under those kinds of circumstances! I mean, c'mon, I live and work in the inner-city, and I have 5 kids and a dog! It's a crazy-fun-noisy-little-world I live in! 

Yet sometimes, even for me, there seems to be an inner calling for peace... I guess I just need things to chill a bit in order to really concentrate and hear what's being said or grasp the bigger picture.  Vision is blurry or dim when decibels and distractions are out of control.

God speaks...   
"lately, Chilly, it's been difficult for me to enjoy our time together - all the noise inside your head - the questions, comments, second-guessing, vain arguments, over-thinking, blah-blah-blah, it's all too much!" 
        - yeah, He speaks to me like this. 

HE was right, of course!  I'm unloading without listening, I'm all over the place in my thinking and I'm getting frustrated. Not at anyone/anything - just in general (which is worse to me).  I need His voice, influence, guidance and grace...  I need to shut up - but, it's hard making my brain shut up, my lips are tight but there's a three-ring circus in full affect underneath the big-top of my cranium!

God persists...
"Shhh, my son, - take a deep breath and let it all go.  Quietly and repectfuly listen to my heart ... pump-pump, pump-pump, pump-pump ... that's all you need to hear right now.  I'M here." 
        - He's here! 

Shutting up is wise.  He will eventually speak and I will be ready to listen.  Until then...  "pump-pump..."

God I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen ...I'm speechless, in awe - words fail me. I should never have opened my mouth! I've talked too much, way too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen.  Job 40:2, 4-5 msg

                    Shhhhh,  chilly

• what's your 'noice limit'?
• how do you find quiet?
• when was the last time it was totally quiet for an hour?
• do you talk too much during prayer?
• shhhhh...

seeking MORE.

We have begun another week of war (WOW) at Real Church.  Seven days of prayer, fasting and increased Bible study is how we begin each month.  There's no doubt that this monthly discipline is connected with our increase in faith, joy, finances and miracles. We would love to have you join us!!

For those of us who consider ourselves true Christians, prayer [Greek: "proseuche"] is "communion with God". Through prayer we actually experience relationship with God. The quality of our prayer life then determines the quality of our relationship with God. Prayer is talking with God. Prayer is listening to God. Prayer is enjoying the presence of God. It can take many forms - for example: worship, confession, thanksgiving, praise, petition (asking for things), waiting (silent, listening and sensing of God) and warfare (command).

Prayer is not simply saying words. It is not repeating formulas. God is looking for heartfelt relationship. We are told by Jesus not to make meaningless repetitions of words when we pray. (Mathew 6:7).

There is a lot of prayer that never reaches God. "The proud Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer" (Luke 18:11). "The prayers of a person who ignores the law are despised" (Proverbs 28:9). Not to mention prayers offered to false gods, dead prophets or to the devil. And there are those religious prayers or traditional prayers that can be uttered without heart.

Prayer must be from relationship rather than religion or ritual. It's a heart thing...  I challenge you to spend more and more time communicating with the lover of your soul.  Seek to know Him as you are known by Him.  Refuse to simply ponder "prayer" and get busy PRAYING.

• What lesson have learned, that's improved your prayer life?
• Is prayer FUN?  Explain...
• What can I (we) pray about for YOU this week?

who's listening?

When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody (Isaiah 1:15 msg).

man, if you're gonna pray, pray for REAL!  confess, repent, stop treating people like crap, and love God 24/7. 

                        be sincere...

                                                                        pray.

Heart

Today, as I press on, I feel the tremors of war. There's an increasing intensity to the pounding of my heart.  Our enemy is really angry - this past weekend he got punk'd hard in Hamtramck!  His outrage comes as no surprise.  I'm not alarmed. I'm not afraid. However, I'm not taking his hatred and maniacal plans for granted. There's no doubt that he is dangerous - he would love for me/us to get all prideful over a few victories. Big talk is nothing UNLESS it's spoken in prayer and in Jesus' name.

Though an army besiege me,  my heart will not fear;  though war break out against me,  even then will I be confident. Psalm 27:3

my prayer:
God, cause my heart to beat so loud that it hurts the ears of the enemy and sends panic through the hidden ranks of the air. May it be a mighty warring beat that creates chaos and confusion to every scheme of our adversary. Use me. Help me not back down or sit out. I want to stand blameless and strong. May I be a fearless, servant-hearted, warrior for the King of Kings. ~ chilly

            Join me in the fight!!
                    Click 'comment' and add a line to my prayer...

Each Morning Broken

Lord! Make our heart Your temple in which You live. Grant that every impure thought, every earthly desire might be like the idol Dagon - each morning broken at the feet of the Ark of the Covenant. Teach us to master flesh and blood and let this mastery of ourselves be our bloody sacrifice in order that we might be able to say with the Apostle: "I die every day." ~ Søren Kierkegaard

FAST PAIN

The deeper I venture into the 40DAZE, the more I realize fasting can be really rough. Obviously, the degree of difficulty comes from the level of your discipline.  But, at any level, fasting is not easy. It's not supposed to be. It's an opportunity to be test our body and our soul.

It's a spiritual fight between my flesh and the Spirit of God. This goes behind the natural desire to eat.

It often requires an inner pain because:

1. Our bodies are so commanding and often demand food at least 3 times a day. And they let you know when they are denied. It's NOT true... fasting soon clears up this misconception.

2. We give food way too much authority in our lives - both flesh & feelings.  It can easily become an emotional crutch to give pleasure, drowsiness, satisfaction and escape. Fight this and solely depend on God for comfort.

3. The further you go into your fast, the more your struggle brings you face to face with other painful issues in your life. God reveals the need for you to forgive others, to repent of your wicked ways, to remove junk in your thought life, to stop running from Him and start trusting Him. Because of this, we as sin addicts must go through a spiritual and physical detoxification - fasting brings this on...

4. Satan hates it when we fast. He will attack you and do whatever he can to make you give up the fast. Jesus experienced this in the wilderness with Satan (Matthew 4:1-10). Great spiritual victories are won or lost on our willingness to endure spiritual hardship and temptation out of love and faithfulness to the Lord.

5. You will experience weakness at times, and we like to feel strong and in control. Fasting teaches us dependence upon God.

• What are some other lessons that you are learning? 
• What are some victories that you're experiencing, through fasting, that you may not have any other way?

As my strength coach proclaimed in high school:  "no pain, no gain"

• How does your "gain" compare with the "pain"?   Are you happy??

Gaining grace, Chilly

10 < 30

In 30 days, we are launching our second church: NightLight!  (Our Sunday morning church is called: The Awakening) Yeah, some of you would see it as simply adding a 2nd service, but that's not our approach.  We taking a few committed young adults and going after a whole new unreached group of people.  Same building - different set-up, approach and style. 

The message is sacred, the method is not
...never forget that.

Here's our latest flyer that presents what's happening in Hamtown & Detroit.  Keep us in prayer! We're 10 days into our 40 day fast...  miracles are happening - in fact, just today I led 5 people to Christ!!