The Insomnia Chronicles

most deaf 2 ...

I've got a plan in place to find "silence"... 

in about 2 hours, I will be disappearing.  Gone...   POOF - outta here! 

One of the guys in my life is an emmy award winning videographer (stephen) - such an amazing & humble guy. Well, he's on a 4-5 week video shoot in Vietnam right now.  And, he left me the keys to his downtown condo - which overlooks Detroit river & downtown skyline (... Windsor, Canada too...).  He was so excited at the thought of me "retreating" in his crib while he was away.  So cool.  Yeah, so with Bible, Journal, a few pens and some sweats, I'm disappearing.  I'll reemerge on Friday for my son's (maximus aslan) birthday!

Can't wait to hear nothing.   

And then, eventually, begin to hear His still small voice.

I'll wait for this.  I want to wait. 

Today, I read a few words from my friend Soren Kierkegaard... I liked what he said, God loves silence.  Silence in relation to God is strengthening. Absolute silence is like a lever, or like the point outside the world which Archimedes talks about.  To talk lightly about God therefore, is a depletion that weakens.  God hates it when we gossip with others about our relationship with Him. To do so is sheer vanity, or else it is cowardice and lack of faith, because one does not really rely upon Him.

I might blog...  or just scribble in my moleskine off-line.  not sure.

bye.

p.s. I'm here (no where) - it's brilliant.  I just came down from the rooftop - through the darkness rises our city skyline, the ambassador bridge, canada and beyond.  I immediately got chocked up, why? I'm not even sure.  there's destiny here - awaiting my brokenness, submission and silence.  I felt like Daniel (chapter 6) determined to seek God, Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. - a lot of time will be spent on the rooftop. the wheels of vision have already begun...

most deaf...?

I, normally, don't mind noise, craziness, or even chaos - I seem to thrive under those kinds of circumstances! I mean, c'mon, I live and work in the inner-city, and I have 5 kids and a dog! It's a crazy-fun-noisy-little-world I live in! 

Yet sometimes, even for me, there seems to be an inner calling for peace... I guess I just need things to chill a bit in order to really concentrate and hear what's being said or grasp the bigger picture.  Vision is blurry or dim when decibels and distractions are out of control.

God speaks...   
"lately, Chilly, it's been difficult for me to enjoy our time together - all the noise inside your head - the questions, comments, second-guessing, vain arguments, over-thinking, blah-blah-blah, it's all too much!" 
        - yeah, He speaks to me like this. 

HE was right, of course!  I'm unloading without listening, I'm all over the place in my thinking and I'm getting frustrated. Not at anyone/anything - just in general (which is worse to me).  I need His voice, influence, guidance and grace...  I need to shut up - but, it's hard making my brain shut up, my lips are tight but there's a three-ring circus in full affect underneath the big-top of my cranium!

God persists...
"Shhh, my son, - take a deep breath and let it all go.  Quietly and repectfuly listen to my heart ... pump-pump, pump-pump, pump-pump ... that's all you need to hear right now.  I'M here." 
        - He's here! 

Shutting up is wise.  He will eventually speak and I will be ready to listen.  Until then...  "pump-pump..."

God I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen ...I'm speechless, in awe - words fail me. I should never have opened my mouth! I've talked too much, way too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen.  Job 40:2, 4-5 msg

                    Shhhhh,  chilly

• what's your 'noice limit'?
• how do you find quiet?
• when was the last time it was totally quiet for an hour?
• do you talk too much during prayer?
• shhhhh...

It's GO time!

man, we are buzzing with joy, excitement, prayer and energy.  in less than 3 minutes, the smell of Starbucks coffee will consume the air, search lights will fill the skies over our building, crowds of new faces will pack the Refuge (our sancturary), and an amazing team of prayed-up servants will take their places... then, the lights will dim, and with nervous tension, our brand new video will begin and crescendo  into the Lord's Prayer. With loud praises, tears and worship; NightLight will begin!  I've seen it already in my prayers and dreams... and I now stand on the precipice of God's "next"... I have so many emotions...  I wish I could take you all back to my back porch, almost 4 years ago, when my family and 8 others sat and dreamed about planting Real Church.  And now, here we are, launching our second church/service.

Our incredible media team (Steve, Brendan, Zach and many others), produced an amazing opening video - mentioned above - that will be shown as NightLight begins this evening.  This video and the message will be available on iTunes later tonight - and I'll post it here as soon as it's available...

Thank you for praying for us!  We love you!

vulnerable...

As the new year approached, my staff and I met in midtown Detroit in this really cool penthouse apartment and it's rooftop terrace.  As the rain came down, I prayed for greater vision.  The stillness of that moment haunts me. Louder and louder, my heartbeat began to drowned out the sounds of city traffic, rain hitting rooftops, and wind rustling through flags.  The salt of my tears mixed with raindrops, streamed down my face.  A sudden sense of uneasyness came over me - I was no longer standing alone. Refusing to look over my shoulder to see who was there, I stared more intently into the rain. Determined not to lose this moment.

Jesus was there... right there.  His presence moved from behind me to exactly where I stood. He "settled" on me, in me... all over me. 

In the Bible, Exodus 24, (Mount Sinai), it was called 'shakan' (greek) - a cloud of fire that filled the summit and engulfed Moses.  It is where we get the term Shekinah Glory.

This midtown rooftop was my sinai... HE WAS THERE.  I have never felt so small yet so loved.

I didn't discuss it or share what He impressed upon my heart with anyone... I'm still not sure I comprehend it.  Like in this picture, how you can barely see the Detroit downtown skyline, God was saying "you haven't seen anything yet! You've only seen shadows and outlines but I'm making things clear soon"...  I trust Him.

So, for now, I keep doing what I was doing - praying FIRST and as often as I can. I want to live in the reality of 'praying without ceasing'...  I want JESUS in all things at all times...  this is my destiny.

more than a theme... LIFESTYLE

WE'RE THREE!

Hey!!  Today is the THREE YEAR Celebration of REAL Church!!  Wow!

It's amazing that so much time has passed since my crazy team of pioneers moved to a community - that we had never heard of - simply because God told us to...  we were not trained in church planting, inner-city ministry, or cross-cultural outreach.  We just believed that when the Lord speaks, you OBEY. 

Nothing and no one could have prepared us for Hamtramck  - truly, THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!

So, today we will begin the day on our faces in prayer, then serve Einstein Bagels and Starbucks Coffee while we meet new people and encourage those we already know. From there we'll move into a time of praise and worship, followed by a short & fun message of Truth, and then we will see many come to know Christ as Savior and Lord!! Ohhh yeah!  From there we will worship a little bit more, then dedicate children and baptise a bunch of people in water!!  We're not done yet, no way, now it's time to eat!  So, we'll all share a celebration meal together - yum!  Sometime, late afternoon we'll wrap things up... SMILING BIG! What a day - and it hasn't even happened yet!! Please note:  all of these plans are subject to God's timing and leading - He can change any or all of it and we will, again, joyfully OBEY!  (pssst, it's His church after all)

Long before REAL Church was open, the Lord laid a short passage on my heart - it became a focus for my life and our ministry - still is today,  "In such ways I have trailblazed a preaching of the Message of Jesus all the way from Jerusalem far into northwestern Greece. This has all been pioneer work, bringing the Message only into those places where Jesus was not yet known and worshiped. My text has been: Those who were never told of him - they'll see him! Those who've never heard of him - they'll get the message! Romans 15:19-21 msg. 

And, they are still seeing Him, and yeah, they're getting the message! I'm completely humbled and totally amazed that God would use me in such astonishing work.  Thanks Lord - I love You!  chilly

*IF you're anywhere near us today - drop by - we would love it!  IF not, leave a comment - we treasure the love and support of our world-wide family!

I'm not at the conference... and, I'm ok.

What has happened with "the church"??

On one side everyone's chasing after a John Maxwell "principal", a Rick Warren "purpose", or a Joel Osteen "potential" - you know, somehow with the right leadership model you can grow a huge church.  Then,  on the otherside, there's this overwhelming desperation and panic, trying to save "christianity" and "the church"... stressin' about who's struggling, who's broke, or who's failed (in one way or another).

Both of these groups travel in packs like wolves - the first group like fat, blood-thirsty man-eater bullies - the second group are like wolves with exposed ribcages; starving, would-eat-their-own leg, beggars.  Make no mistake, both can be dangerous.

Somehow we think another book, a new slogan,  a $500 conference, 10 new blog friends, or a new worship CD - or something else, will save the day & rescue or revolutionize the church.

But what's not being talked about is:

    * Who's church it really is.
    * The power of prayer.
    * The absolute truth of God's Word.
    * Denying yourself and serving.
    * Genuine love.
    * The mission of the Gospel.
    * Discipleship.
    * Sacrifice.
    * Real relationships.
    * Carrying the Cross

                -- you get the picture.

Put down that new book (for now) and reRead Acts (and then, keep going - in either direction).  There IS hope for the church - His name is Jesus.  And, He lets us ride on His church bus every Sunday... and so on.  We don't need a new plan, a new slogan, a new building, or a new song - we need to Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever!

Start today with every big or little thing that you have to do and ask yourself, "How can I glorify God RIGHT NOW in this situation/opportunity" and then smile and do it - trust me, He'll lead you in righteousness for His Name's sake.

You are the temple of the Holy Spirit... so am I...  it's US!  And I think this church is going to be alright!

standing on my knees, chilly

vision: beyond seeing.

what do you see when your eyes are shut?  nothing or a lot?  how about when they're open?  just the obvious or beyond?  as you look into the face of another person can God, simultaneously, cause them to become transparent and reveal deeper truths? 

is vision simply seeing a future event?  is that prophetic?  i don't think so...  i think a true prophet has a vision of the "now".  he sees the present in it's undiluted and unprotected condition - total vulnerability. that's why the thought of a prophet coming to town in the OT was so terrifying.  he would read their mail and call them out.

today, many treat vision and the prophetic like it has more to do with horoscopes & warm fuzzy feelings about the future.  vision requires humble boldness & obedience.  looking at the world through the eyes of Christ - the Holy Spirit makes this possible...

i don't think I'm seeing enough nor am I doing enough with what I'm seeing.  praying for more vision scares me a bit but it also excites me beyond the fear.  i want to live eyes wide open (even when they're closed).

squinting into reality,  Chilly

p.s. look closer at the picture - there's more there than you may have noticed at first... vision!